Sweet As Hunni

Growing up, I owned at least 20 three inch thick books on horses, and spent hours upon hours absorbing everything I could about them. They were beautiful, graceful, wild creatures that you could ride and run and fly away on, and for a young girl, that was everything I could ever want. My first horseback riding lessons began on November 10, 2008 as a birthday present.

I am sure my parents thought it was just a phase, so when they set me up for lessons they must have been expecting me to tire of it after a year or so. Quite the opposite happened.

November 10 was a rather dismal day. The sky was cloudy, threatening to pour down rain at any moment, and the ground was a thick, oozing sea of mud. But I was ecstatic.

That first day was mainly spent in the barn, where my instructor, Heather, showed me how to tie a horse, how to properly groom them, and how to saddle them up. In the future this would all become a remedial, thoughtless task, but that first day she may as well have been showing me the road to El Dorado. I couldn’t get enough. By the time I had successfully accomplished the tasks to her liking, my lesson was almost up and thunder was rumbling in the sky above us. Bob, the fat grey horse that had patiently stood while I fumbled with the saddle ties and hoof picks, was dozing off, and I was resigned to the fact that I would have to wait a whole week to ride again. Until Heather emerged from the tack room, helmet in hand, and plopped it down on my head.

That first ride was otherworldly. It lasted all of five minutes, Heather was leading me around kiddie-style with a halter up and down the gravel driveway, and Bob was moving at a pace so slow that wet paint could dry faster. But it is something that will stay with me until my dying breath.

Months passed and my lessons advanced, and soon I was competing and winning ribbons. With the ever faithful Bob, my confidence grew and I began to think of myself as quite the rider. Looking back I can only laugh at myself. Bob was the perfect beginner’s horse. He was slow, fat, gentle, and too sweet. He would rather go take a nap than cause trouble. Any beginner would feel like a master riding him, because he was simply too lazy to ever do anything but what you wanted. And he was the only horse I had ever ridden, so it obviously went to my head.

Until another new girl came to the barn and needed Bob’s gentle touch. And suddenly, I got thrown headfirst into the big leagues.

Heather always told me that even despite Bob’s easiness, I was a good rider. I had a natural seat and a stubborn drive. So when she set me up with Hunni, I can only imagine she knew what she was doing.

Hunni was sort’ve a mystery. Her mother, Emma, was nothing more than evil personified. She was troublesome whether you were on or off her, and had a stubborn ferocity that would make Chuck Norris quiver in fear. Her one goal in life was to make sure you knew that she could pommel you into a pulp within seconds. And Hunni was her one and only offspring. A complete wild card.

From what I had gathered from other riders, Hunni was a much more toned down version of Emma. She didn’t approach you with a fight from head on. She waited. She was just as stubborn and just as deadly clever, but she liked to bide her time and test you first. She was a loose cannon, who only gave you respect when she decided you earned it. But I was young and foolish and I thought I was the best rider this side of Dallas… I was doomed.

On the day that I was to begin riding with Hunni,  Heather had gone out to get her from the pasture because I was running late. When I entered the barn, Hunni was already tied up and was dozing off, ignoring the world. Until I bounced up to her, clutching a saddle.

The stocky mare woke up, and eyed me for a second, taking in the saddle in my thin arms and that eager light in my eyes. She stood up straight, narrowed her big brown eyes and gave me a look that clearly stated how absolutely unimpressed she was with me and my pathetic existence. I think I gulped.

Throughout the tacking up process she was quiet and still, watching me move around her until I fell into a blissful ease, deciding that this mare wasn’t scary at all. She lifted her hooves when I asked, and didn’t twitch a muscle as I ran the brush over her coat. It was like I was nothing more than a bird twittering around her as I secured the saddle and bridle. Once everything was properly set, I grabbed the reins and began to lead her out of the barn with the other riders…

But she didn’t budge.

“Come on, let’s go, lazy butt!” I said, tugging a little on the reins to get her moving. She simply stood, head held high, looking down on me with  a ‘Go Ahead And Make Me’ look on her face.

I struggled for a few seconds, yanking on her bridle and even poking her tummy to get her to lift her feet. She leaned back, resting on one back leg and flicking her ears, turning her head to look down the barn and out the window. I may as well have not been there.

Heather finally came back and asked me what on earth I was doing, and only laughed when I explained rather angrily that Hunni wasn’t moving. Heather took my place, and Hunni pranced forward, flicking her tail and acting like her one goal in life was to parade after the rest of my lesson group. I was speechless.

After scrambling onto her back and catching up with the rest of them, we all entered the lesson arena. Hunni plodded along, as quiet and easy as ever. We all walked in a circle, stretching out our horses legs and warming up before the real lesson began. Finally, Heather instructed us to do a nice, slow dog trot for a couple minutes. In the past, Bob had had the slowest trot (at times it was slower than his walk), so I was fully unprepared when Hunni took off like she had been stung by a bee.

I bounced in my seat and could scarcely keep my feet in the stirrups. I remember that those three minutes were the most nerve wracking of my entire life, as Hunni thundered around the arena, jackknifing me up and down in the saddle until I was sure my dinner would  make a reappearance. Mercifully, Heather had us slow back down to a walk and I slumped in my seat, holding my sides together and scowling down at the devil mare beneath me. She snorted and I swear I saw a smirk.

Next came the simple task of walking over ground poles. (It’s literally as easy as it sounds.)  One by one we each took turns walking our horses over the three inch thick poles. The object of the lesson was to try and lengthen our horses strides so they wouldn’t clip them with their hooves. Finally, it was my turn, and I eagerly forced Hunni into position and prepared to make her do as I asked (for once).

Hunni sidled up to the first pole and stepped over as easy as you please. I should have known something was wrong the moment I felt her hesitate and stiffen up right before the second, but as I said before, I was a complete idiot back then.

The horse seemed to turn into a helicopter and leaped straight up into the air, flying over the second pole and then bounding with similar height over the last pole, stopping on a dime as soon as she cleared it. I landed hard in the seat, all air knocked out of me as I floundered like a fish to get back into the stirrups and gulp down air. My friends were all snickering and Hunni was eyeing me out of the corner of her eyes with that same bemused smirk.

The rest of the lesson went about as smoothly as sandpaper. Hunni had this cute habit of stopping and not budging, and then ‘tripping’ so I would lurch forward and end up somewhere on her neck. When we all lined up to canter around the arena one at a time, Hunni pulled this rather ingenious trick of biting down on the bit and taking off while I could only hold on for dear life. By the time the lesson was over, I could not get away from that horse fast enough. As I unsaddled her and led her to her stall, I was muttering all sorts of threats and curses under my breath, hoping the new girl would back out of lessons so I could have a sensible horse like Bob back and not this devilish calamity called Hunni.

As I checked her water and hay and moved around her stall, Hunni watched me with an unreadable face, eyes narrowed and ears twitching, as if she couldn’t decide whether to bite me or stomp on me. I locked the door shut behind me, and turned to leave. As I walked away, I heard a loud, braying neigh come from her stall, and glanced back to see her head sticking out, watching my retreat.

Like I said, I was doomed.

Jiu Jitsu, Food, Horses & Ghosts

In my house, (and life) every time something happens outside of Justin and I’s routine, it is cause for great excitement. Weekends usually end up being long TV marathons, interrupted by chunks of sleep and maybe a trip to the store or mall where we spend about two hours extra walking around in circles because we are avoiding going home and sitting on the bed all day (though neither of us would ever admit this out loud).

Yesterday’s routine was broken by a text from Justin’s mother, Jackie, about my best friend’s Jiu-Jitsu competition. Ali (the best friend), is very pretty, very smart, and can kick some serious butt.  Unfortunately, due to a certain someone’s stubborn planning skills (**cough cough cough** Justin), we didn’t get there until after her match. But, she did win a pretty awesome silver medal! Standing in that room filled to the brim with people who could seriously knock my skull inwards was rather intimidating, and I am happy to report that I  managed to not piss off a single one of them! Well, except for that guy’s kid I knocked over….sorry about that. I guess that’s what happens when you let your child wander around and cut people off. Oops.

After the competition started to wind down, we all went to a little restaurant in Fountain City called Litton’s. We had 14 people in our entourage, so the wait was considerably long since no one thought to call ahead. The food, however, was worth it.

Litton’s is a little burger joint that has been in Fountain City since 1946, and was originally a small market, but has since become a great little food joint as well. The atmosphere is a little dim and claustrophobic, but it really only makes you feel more cozy and comfortable, like one of those old diners where everybody knew everybody else. Their burgers are amazing, but the real specialty of Litton’s is their desserts. Cake, cake, and more cake, all made right there at Litton’s along with the most delicious cookies and pies you will ever have. For me personally, a slab of their Red Velvet cake is a hunk of heaven.

Finally, we were all shoved into this special ‘large party’ space and could order. Originally I was going to sit by Ali, until a small boy with glasses informed me that he was going to sit there, so I promptly moved over a seat or two extra to give him ample room. (I’m not a kid person, is this obvious yet?) His father sat by me and Justin sat on my right. We all ordered drinks and our burgers (I went with the grilled chicken breast because I was feeling more white meat inclined. Though their red meat is also very, very good.) and proceeded to become one of the loudest bunches of people in Litton’s history, I am sure.

Some of the conversations that flew around the table were about panties, children, horses, crossfit, hockey, the paleo diet, and many others. I mostly stayed quiet and listened, which is what I do best. Ask anyone. Or don’t. I’m so quiet, I tend to go unnoticed, so they probably wouldn’t have much to say. Justin talked around me to the bespectacled kid’s father about hockey, and I sometimes leaned around him to talk about horseback riding with Jackie. Jackie knows everything and everyone around here, and I thought that if anyone knew of a good riding place, she would .I have researched barns and stables and lessons ever since I moved here a few years ago and I have been dying to ride again. But everything seems to formal and…what’s the word, uptight? that I would feel like a time slot, not a student. 

Jackie suggested a stable called Blue Point that she  had heard good things about. Their camps and year-round lessons are very good, and they even have a competitive drive. It has been the first time that I have been getting a good feeling about a barn.  I researched their website while I was listening to the table discuss autocorrect text failures. And you know, I might actually give them a call. Though if I  could find even an extra horse that someone owned that I could take out and exercise for them, I would be totally happy. Returning to the competitive side of horseback riding might also be exciting, too. I have ridden both english and western, and I enjoy speed events just as much as jumping or even just judged classes. So maybe I will give Blue Point a call. It has been way too long since I have ridden last. If anyone out there knows of a good riding place in Knoxville, please let me know.

After we chowed down on food and bought a round of brownie cookies and pies, we all parted ways. Justin so sweetly bought me a slab of Red Velvet, and I have been nibbling on it ever since we got home last night. After we played in the backyard with the dogs for about an hour, we headed inside. Justin took a nap and I watched a few episodes of Game of Thrones (the new season is almost here!!), we flipped to the Travel Channel and watched one of our favorite shows: Ghost Adventures.

Ghost Adventures is about a small team of investigators and their equipment techs who travel around the world in search of haunted locations to document and research. I personally think it is one of the best paranormal television shows out there. I am sorry, but Ghost Hunters kinda dropped the ball with their ‘fake’ evidence. Way to go. Now, GA can be….dramatic. Zak is a bit of a hot head and tends to be easily excitable, I will give you that. But they thoroughly investigate, ask outside opinions and try to debunk everything, so you really cannot argue with the experiences that they have. They have professional scientists, researchers, and people of good report to back up their claims, and the evidence that they collect is really incredible. If you don’t believe in the paranormal, I highly recommend you watch their show and try to argue with the logic that they present. (And if you are still a non-believer, that’s cool. It’s still an entertaining show.)

Last night’s episode was in a Heritage Junction in Santa Clarita, California. It has been one of their more interesting episodes, in my opinion. The current season recently started, and so far the previous episodes have not been as exciting as their previous seasons. This episode, however, was starting to get back into their old swing of things. They collected a lot of evidence such as EVPs (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) and other solid pieces of evidence. After their new episode ended, they played an old re-run of a previous episode that is one of their classics. Season 7, Episode 18, in the King’s Tavern. It is one of their spookiest episodes ever, in my opinion. With plenty of partial possessions and creepy orbs and EVPS, Justin and I were very excited to watch it. It’s been one that we have been wanting to rewatch for a long time. 

After that, Justin went upstairs to play his computer game and I stayed downstairs and watched Game of Thrones. (Trying to immediately fall asleep alone in the dark is not easily done after a ghost show.) I fell asleep around 1 am, and now here I am.

Tonight we are going to see God’s Not Dead in Oak Ridge with Justin’s friend/boss Eric’s church group, and I am thoroughly excited about it. Growing up Mormon, I am always fascinated by other people’s interpretations of religion. I will write about that later tonight, but for now I will leave you all alone and end my chattering. Time to go exercise! Or make myself cry tears of blood. Or both. 

 

Label Makers are Silly Anyways

The Great and Whimsical Me

I am a female. I have two X chromosomes. I have wider hips and more pronounced breasts. I am more than just a female, I am a young woman. However, I am not a dainty and fragile young lady who falls prey to the men of the world. I have been blessed with strong opinions and opulent determinism. My heart is full of passion and drive, which often gets me into trouble. My personality is.. large. My actions are often perceived as abnormal or eccentric. My outward appearance is not that of societies typical girly girl. I lift weights, I have a broad frame, I train in Brazilian jiu jitsu. I am stronger than most girls I know, and I even bench more than some guys at the gym. That is okay. Outwardly, I do not appear fragile. I am very much a “tough guy”. That is acceptable.. to a…

View original post 600 more words

The Coworkers

Right now I am at work, and I just wanted to make something perfectly clear up front: If I ever talk about anyone here, I have changed their names. I won’t even give my office a name. I will only call it ‘My Work’ or ‘My Job’ or simply ‘Work’, because I do not want to hurt anyone or anything or violate someone’s privacy. But frankly, I spend 8 hours a day here, so I need something to do in order to look busy. And the crap that happens is really quite entertaining. Well, actually, not really. The people are the entertaining ones.

Have you ever met someone that is super nice? Like, honestly, they are sweet and funny and like-able. But then, when you give them any amount of responsibility or task…. they lose their frickin’ minds.

Let me just give you a short run down of the people I work with:

Chris- He is my boss. As in, technically I really only work for him and do things for other people when he doesn’t have a use for me. He is really nice and a little scatter brained. (Picture a puppy. That’s him.) He is also in charge of everyone (except Bob & Albert), but he is so nice that no one really takes him seriously. Right now he is obsessed with cleaning up the databases, which is really a Herculean, impossible task.

Bob- He is the CEO of My Work. He travels to countries like Haiti yearly on mission trips, and funds churches, schools, hospitals, etc. He is old. Like, grandfatherly old. He has a really nice wife, and they adopted a few boys. Everyone respects him, and he is nice to everyone. For some reason he acts really formal and avoids me at all costs, though. Perhaps my youth intimidates him? He, along with Albert, are sort’ve stuck in the past. I don’t think they realize the modern-day we live in, and sometimes My Work suffers for it.

Albert-  The president of My Work. He and Bob started My Work way way way back in the day, and they have been friends for a long time. He is very nice and likes to talk, but he has this…terrifying presence. Like, if you staple his papers together the wrong way he could fire you without a sideways glance. He lives in Iowa and works remotely. His daughter, Jane, also works here. Which is sometimes not a good thing.

Mike A & Mike B (AKA The Mikes)- They both work on the technical side of things, making sure the software works. Like developers. Everyone simply calls them The Mikes, and they dwell in the back corner of the office by the kitchen with Jimmy. They are usually always back there unless one of us has a question, and then they venture out. Mike A is good friends with Chris. They are both super nice but can be really intimidating because they are terrifyingly smart.

Jimmy- I am not sure how I feel about him. He is nice…but almost too nice. And random, but not in that cool way. Just… he’s weird. He talks wayyy too much about his personal life, like how his daughter is a cheerleader and he shows pictures of her all the time. And he just says really random, personal information. Like, it’s great your son’s wife’s sister got a new house in New Mexico, but….really?

Jane- Albert’s daughter, and in charge of promoting My Work. She, like everyone else, is nice, but also tends to be an absolute b****. Since she is Albert’s daughter, no one is brave enough to call her out when she does something wrong, and she has definitely let it go to her head. Most of the time she is fine, but sometimes she and Chris go head to head and you can’t help but want to strangle her. She lives in Iowa and remotes in. Thank goodness.

Jenny- She works with Jane, but unlike Jane she is always nice and always courteous. She handles the contract side of things. SHe talks a lot and she is really loud, but she could sell a book to a blind man. Her laugh is really loud and can be heard from all corners of the office even if her door is closed. She and Kate go on walks around the parking lot everyday, and she is good friends with Cindy via church. She is kinda like the ‘mom’ of the office.

Terri- A power player. She and Chris are in this constant battle for control, and since Chris is so submissive she almost always gets her way. She is in charge or Kate, Cindy and Emily, and therefore has a lot of power to toy with. Her mood changes daily, and when you see her coming you want to hide. Super nice to customers, but I think she has always been barely tolerant of me. I guess that can happen when you steal her daughter’s job.

Cindy-  If Jenny is the mother of My Job, then Cindy is the Aunt. Friendly, cheerful, hard-working, and sassy. She takes trips to the beach a lot. She tends to push jobs she doesn’t want to do (but should do) onto me, and does tend to get frustrated easily. In Terri’s Line Of Command, she is probably second in power (in a close tie with Kate). Luckily, she is much more rational that Terri, and knows a lot of really important things like how to fix the printer and how to get a customer to do something.

Kate- Probably my favorite around the office. She always has something nice to say whenever you pass her door, and keeps a little bowls of candies that everyone raids daily. She and Mike B are good friends, and she and Cindy like to talk about cooking and the ‘good ol days’. She is easy to talk to and goes out of her way to make sure you are welcome, and the go-to person when I have a question.

Emily- The newest worker. And the tiniest. Only coming up to my shoulder, her personality makes up for it. Loud, sassy, and not afraid to tell you whats up and throw in a curse word for spice. She used to work in child care and lived in the Middle East for a few years. She works very hard and almost always has her door closed to block out the office chatter. However, she is not afraid to gossip with you if you get her alone. I think if anyone could possibly dethrone Terri, it would be her.

Delly- The person who does the least amount of work and gets the most credit. She leaves all the time. The last time she actually stayed for a full 8 hours was months ago. She lives far away and she likes to be outside, so she uses that as an excuse along with funerals, appointments, vacations, and sickness. I understand if you need to leave every once in a while, but everyday…? She has had weeks where she hasn’t shown up and told no one. For some reason everyone is okay with this. She routinely forgets my existence, and she when does she calls me ‘Babygirl’ or ‘Bambi Eyes’ and then tells me how I did something wrong, and then denies everything when it comes out that I actually did it right. She is the main reason for Justin not getting a permanent job here.. She is in charge of Jack and Carol, and the three of them are like their own little gang.

Jack- He is the office peacock. Almost always dressed in bright, glowing colors. He has a very expensive truck and a very expensive Beemer, and a bike that probably cost more than a heart transplant. He wheels the thing around the office all the time. He is Delly’s b****. Super friendly. Smart. But a total wuss.

Carol- She got hired right before Emily, and is another reason why Justin didn’t get a job. She is the office cheerleader. Loud and blonde and nauseously peppy. Very smart and very hard-working, but she has also fallen under Delly’s spell and is therefore a subject of speculation. If Jack and Carol could get out of Delly’s fist, they could actually be valuable assets. However, their little group is a constant source of mystery and worry (especially for me).

David- He is a contract worker like Justin used to be. He and Justin both worked for Eric. But since their old jobs fell through, David has been stuck here and Justin has been jobless. David is very cool and sort’ve a macho, red-neck kind of guy. He, like Justin and I, sees My Work as it really is: A time-bomb being held together by strings. He is working closely with Chris to fix the mess, but we both know it’s futile.

Alice- She is in charge of money, but somehow I always end up doing her work for her. She is always talking, and likes to spend her time wandering about the office and talking to everything that breathes. She and Cindy have daily powwow sessions in Cindy’s office. Alice also has a son who she brings to work all the time. He runs rampant. As a child-phobe, I do not appreciate this at all. She is also in control of supplies and general office necessities, such as ink cartridges and coffee and that sort of thing.

Evan- An old, creepy friend of Chris whose goal in life is to make my skin crawl. He is working with Alice to get the money situation under control. He only comes in for a couple of hours a day, but always manages to come up and annoy me to death at least once. He talks in a whisper about ridiculous things, and likes to walk uncomfortably close to me and make comments about how I look. Basically, a gross old man. Justin sees him as harmless, but I am not so sure.

Richard- Somehow even more annoying that Evan. Currently he is working with Chris and Mike A on privacy and security guidelines for My Work. He is a constant irritation for Alice and I, because he sends us on wild goose chases for stupid things. (Ex: Colored staples, copies of copies of every single piece of paper he owns, light bulbs, desks… the list goes on and on.) He is nice, but so aggravating that I cringe whenever I see him walk in. Between he and Evan, I honestly don’t know who is more irritating.

And that’s it. Twenty people that I spend an average of 40 hours a week with. They sometimes honestly make me want to pull my hair out. In the future I will probably refer to them, and now you can suffer through it with me. Welcome to the circus.

The Obligatory ‘About Me’ First Post.

The Obligatory ‘About Me’ First Post.

Okay everyone, this is it! Time to start clambering up onto the bandwagon and get a blog going, because it seems like everyone and their cat is creating one these days. The concept of writing down my thoughts is something that I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. But if I can always have access t it while I’m sitting at my work desk waiting for the phone to ring, why not? I won’t be able to come up with an excuse when it crashes and burns.

I could tell you a bunch of random things about me, but in all honesty I like questionnaires more. For one thing, you never know what the next question could be and it covers a wide range of topics. The following is one that I found on the internet thanks to Google, and it’s a wonderful list provided by a blogger on thoughtcatalog. Yes, it is a bunch of questions designated for a crush or date, but what could be better? If you decide to repeatedly come to my blog and check out what I am up to, it’s kinda like forming a relationship with me. Okay, it isn’t, but I liked these questions so you’ll just have to deal with it.

1. What is one thing you will never do again? I will never ever watch Death of a Ghost Hunter. It was a random Blockbuster rental a friend and I picked out when I was a kid, and honestly it was one of the most disturbing, confusing, and downright terrifying things I have ever experienced. Don’t watch it. Trust me. Just thinking about it makes me want to go take a shower in Holy Water.

2. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? I would really like to say twice as smart, but being smart can sometimes be a pain (for you & others). So I will have to go with twice as happy. Ignorance is bliss, my friend.

3. What happened the last time you cried? I don’t really cry. I tear up, but nothing really happens other than my eyes stinging. And as for the reason that I cried, I had just seen one of those ‘Faith In Humanity Restored’ posts on Tumblr. I don’t know what it is about those posts but they really get me sometimes.

4. What happened the time in your life when you were the most nervous to do something?  I got my ears pierced. This may sound really melodramatic, but I am terrified of getting shots/needles stabbed into me. I go into hysterics. But I was tired of having plain earlobes…so I went and only fainted once.

5. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? I am contemplating getting a tattoo.

6. What’s your worst habit? Biting my fingers/nails. It’s horrendous.

7. What superpower would you have for one day? Controlling the weather. I would make a huge thunderstorm, just to listen to the thunder and watch the lightning.

8. What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on? I am in love with Neal Caffrey from the TV show White Collar. Like…wow. Just wow.

9. Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world?  Alaska.

10. What is your most bizarre pet peeve? I can’t stand touching yarn. I don’t know if that counts as a pet peeve, but I hate it. It sticks to your fingers and feels so awful. Oh, gag.

11. Who knows you the best? Ali, my best friend or Justin, my boyfriend, Who happens to be Ali’s older brother. More on that sometime later.

12. What after school activities did you do in high school? I rode horses and drew pictures and had a job at Shoe Carnival.

13. What “most likely to” superlative would you be most honored to receive? Most Likely To Order Pizza Everyday of the Week

14. What’s the last book you really loved? Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly

15. What was the greatest television show of all time? Probably LOST. That show was so agonizingly brilliant.

16. What’s been your favorite age so far? So far being twenty has been the most peaceful.

17. If you could go back in time, what is one piece of advice you would give your younger self? “Stop obsessing and torturing yourself and just deal with it.”

18. What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it? Eating a steak. I was a vegetarian for 18 years.

19. Apologize or ask permission? Apologize

20. Unlimited love or money? You can only print out so much money before the economy explodes, so unlimited love.

21. If you knew you would die in one week, what would you do? Fly back to Texas and ride my horse everyday.

22. What’s your most listened to song? Viva La Vida by Coldplay

23. Beach vacation or European vacation? Europe. There are beaches in Europe, duh.

24. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? Drawing.

25. What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Pay off the house Justin and I live in.

26. What celebrity would you trade lives with? None. Celebrities aren’t real. They hide behind their images and promote and let themselves be seen. The real person is somewhere buried so deeply that no one would recognize them.

27. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album? I don’t know why but the word Ro5es popped into my head.

28. What story do your friends still give you crap about? I don’t really get crap for anything, honestly.

29. If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Uh, Honesy Mustard obviously because it’s obscenely delicious.

30. What is the ideal number of people to have over on a Friday night? Three. Good things come in threes.

31. What was the worst age you’ve been so far? 18 was hell.

32. What is your weirdest dealbreaker? If they are too nice. It makes me uncomfortable.

33. What fictional character reminds you most of yourself? Rapunzel from Tangled.

34. Do you believe in karma? In the spirit of Karma yes I do believe in Karma.

35. What was your favorite TV show as a kid? Teen Titans or Avatar: The Last Airbender. But Avatar is still one of my favorites.

36. What is the weirdest thing you find attractive in a person? Their hands. I have child sized hands, so I sort’ve get weirdly happy when someone can make them look even smaller.

37. What Jeopardy! category would you clear, no problem? Completely Useless Information

38. What is something you’re superstitious about? Wishing on 11:11 am/pm

39. What is the scariest experience you have ever had? It’s something I keep having. The only nightmares I ever have are of the same woman murdering me in really grotesque, Saw-like ways. And I am watching myself die.

40. Who is a non-politician you wish would run for office? I can’t really think of anyone who I would seriously support or even consider.

41. What cheesey song do you have memorized? They say a man should always dress for the job he wants. So why’m I dressed up like a pirate in this restauraunt? It’s all because some hacker stole my identity, and now I’m in here every evening serving chowder and iced tea. Should’ve gone to freecreditreport.com. They could’ve seen this coming at me like an atom bomb. They monitor your credit and send you email alerts so you don’t end up selling fish to tourists in t-shirts.

42. What one dead person would you most like to have dinner with, if it were possible? Nikola Tesla. He was so insanely smart. He blew Thomas Edison out of the water.

43. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? Yes, but I also think it is dangerous to immerse yourself so much that you get caught up in things that don’t really matter.

44. What is the best present you’ve ever received? My horse, Hunni.

45. Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free wifi wherever you go, for the rest of your life? What good is Wi-Fi if I can’t type properly?

46. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were the opposite sex for one day? Eat as much as I possibly could just to see if their huge appetites are real.

47. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? The grill that Justin has been wanting so badly.

48. What is the nicest thing someone could say about you? That I am a princess.

49. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view? A tiny house. Less to clean and you can look up at the stars without those city lights.

50. What is the weirdest quirk your family has? Ha. We’re Mormon. Enough said.