Okay so I may have skipped out on doing Day 2 on Saturday when I was SUPPOSED to do it, but it’s called the ’30 DAY Challenge’ not ’30 CONSECUTIVE Days Challenge’ so I’m good. Maybe.
Today’s challenge is DESCRIBE 3 LEGITIMATE FEARS YOU HAVE AND EXPLAIN HOW THEY BECAME FEARS.
Fear Number One: Open Water
I am terrified of open water. Such as the ocean. I feel exposed. Like someone or something could grab me and kill me at any second. I get seriously creeped out just thinking about what could be underneath the surface of the water staring back at me, and if I am in a large amount of water (even big swimming pools), I can really freak out. When I was a little I took swimming lessons at the YMCA, and though I loved swimming and I still do, I had serious issues with the deep end of the pool because some genius though it would be appropriate to put a life sized mosaic of a killer whale on the bottom l. It was a scary looking thing, and even worse when you were swimming above it. I kept thinking of it coming to life and eating me or dragging me down. And the ocean is huge. We have yet to reach the ocean floor. And when you fall in and look around, there is nothing. Just open water, deep and blue and stretching out all around you. It’s just..ugh.
Fear Number Two: Needles
I got my ears pierced when I was 18 years old. It wasn’t because my parents didn’t want me to get them pierced, it was because I was too afraid to. You see, piercings involve needles. I don’t do needles. However, when my 7 year old sister said she was going to get her ears pierced, I decided that if she could do it, so could I. my mother took us to the mall, and we waited for our imminent piercings. Somehow I went first to be an ‘example’ for Natalie, and I sat on the chair while the girl chatted away and doused my earlobe in alcohol and lined up her needle gun. She pulled the trigger and this horrible popping sound exploded and I felt a sharp stabbing, and then it wad done and I had to do the next one. The second one was done without a hitch and I got down to wait for Natalie. As I stood by my mother and watched Natalie hardly flinch, I started to get woozy, thinking of what I had just done. A small sliver of silver metal had just poked, stabbed and then come out of the other side of my ear, leaving a hole where there was now a little glittering blue fake diamond being held on by yet another small, thin needle. I turned green and had to sit down, and for the rest of the day my mother pumped me with sugar and water to fight of the waves of nausea.
I don’t do needles. Getting my ears pierced was just a one time thing, but getting shots is even worse. I faint. I scream. I go into hysterics. Nurses have to hold me down. I just can’t do it. The feeling of that needle piercing into my flesh and then injecting a liquid…it makes my whole arm go numb and I can’t open my eyes or sit up for the rest of the day. It’s awful. I still get a little dizzy changing out my earrings. Uuuughhh.
Fear Number Three: Getting Murdered
Every since I was a kid I have had this paralyzing dread of getting murdered. I couldn’t go upstairs to my room by myself without feeling like I was being watched. I couldn’t sleep with the lights off. Walking outside at night was simply not going to happen, and being home alone was like a form of torture. Even though I have gotten a bit better, I still find myself looking over my shoulder and checking all of my closets and behind the shower curtain. I have nightmares that are all the same; my death. But that’s a very weird, disturbing story, and I don’t really feel quite that comfortable and open enough to tell that tale yet. All you need to know is that I can’t walk five steps without looking over my shoulder, and I’ll probably always be like that.
Ugh, now that I have sufficiently creeped myself out, I am going to go find some gelato. Stay lovely.